Series 5

Alf is determined to respect the two minutes silence 'To honor the dead' on Remembrance Day but will Rita and Mike's disrespect and wife Else's loyalty to the BBC ruin it for him?

Princess Anne is set to marry Captain Mark Phillips, so Alf, loyal to the royal family, celebrates by organising a street party, complete with piano — but will anyone turn up?

It's freezing outside, and it's worsened by the miners' strike. A cold and hungry Alf explodes in rage when Else tells him she has no food in the larder. Else, the miners, Harold Wilson, and Mike feel his wrath.

In line with his Tory leader's declaration, Alf is now working three days but is appalled to find Else is doing the same and she hasn't cooked dinner. This leads to her commenting on his selfishness over their years of marriage and tricking him into buying her a new coat.

Gran is very ill and Else is very concerned, while Alf is uncaring, they visit the sick old lady. Alf, believing Gran is not long for this world, pilfers her late husband's pocket-watch, but he is in for a shock.

Supreme male chauvinist pig Alf is put to the test when Else and Rita get drunk in the pub. Things get much worse when he tangles with a blonde call girl.

While boozing in the pub, racist Alf makes Gran laugh by ridiculing the Pakistani, 'Paki-Paddy', who's drinking at the bar, but the laughter ceases when she tells him the strangely half-Irish, half-Pakistani gentleman will be his new neighbour!